So, you have a male friend. A guy you always feel comfortable around him. It is thrilling having a guy that has a soft spot for you and wants to see you happy all time, especially if he is flirting and sending serious vibes that he likes you.
If you are both off-tied to any relationship at that moment, it is easy to have a stronger bond quickly and unconsciously find each other in affectionate love.
But love isn’t always enough to start a relationship.
I’m not ready for a relationship but I like him.
It is normal if you nurse some anxiety or unwillingness to start an outright relationship with him.
At the same time, you never want to pick losing him as an option, and it is hard for you to stay without him.
If this is your dilemma, read through for the right answer.
What can you do if you like a guy but are not ready for a relationship?
Examining why you are not ready for a relationship is the best way to riddle the situation and get a permanent solution.
Do you recently experience a breakup and need time to get over the painful experience, or have you been single for a long that, and the thoughts of a relationship sound like a tasking condition?
Maybe you have never been in one and are scared of being heartbroken too quickly. The fact remains, now or later, you will have to give the relationship a shot unless you plan to be alone forever.
Why not now? Why not allay whatever fears and carefully go all in to be with what makes you happy.
Why are you not even ready for a relationship? This may be complicated to answer, as simple as the question sounds.
Emotional connection is hard to force, and you need one to get along with a man. Your connection to a man may be lost due to these reasons, and you have to address each with its peculiarity.
Common Reasons People Dont Want To Be In A Relationship
1. Career Priority
It can be time and energy demanding if you are a career-driving and highly ambitious woman.
You may not have the urge to start a relationship because of the possible distraction it might cause to your studies or job. It is normal for you to have a fear of handling and do well at both simultaneously.
2. Care for your independence
Suppose you’ve been living and enjoying a free life without anyone influencing your personal decision or questioning your way of life. Knowing that relationship may affect that can trigger the fear of starting one.
You now have to share your decision with a man and respect his opinion in many cases.
Beyond love, this may not want you to start a relationship. If this is your fear, note that you will have the same effect on his life, and being dependent on each other will undoubtedly bring more positivity into your individual’s life.
3. Past Trauma
Suppose you’ve been in a relationship in the past but were filled with bad experiences.
Whether it was an abusive relationship or the one that ended with a mutual agreement due to issues out of your control, you may not be ready to jump into another one when meeting a new man you like.
If this is you, you may need more time to heal from the dark memories of your past. Ensure you get over the trauma before giving him a chance.
4. Too many available options
Some women refuse to agree to a relationship despite liking a man, not because they are not ready, but because they have many guys flirting with them.
They have many guys asking them out at a time. If this is you, be aware that the more you stay single, the more you will attract more men.
This would make it challenging to choose the best from them.
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5. Fear of commitment
Naturally, some people find it extremely hard to commit to a relationship. They are not ready for all the energy required to build trust and love relationship demand.
The fear of commitment might draw you back from dating a man. You might be scared of not sharing enough emotional feelings, good enough to smooth drive the relationship.
Examine yourself and ask why these? We recommend you seek professional help if this is holding you back from starting a relationship.
6. You feel you have personal issues to address
It is hard to be happy in a relationship when you are not happy with how you live your life.
It becomes a problematic issue to start a relationship if you are a toxic, angry, or secretive type or if you are the type that is not emotionally balanced.
If any of these is what you deal with, the relationship may be scary to plunge into.
A therapist can work you through a quick solution.
However, whether or not any of the situations above is your case, if you still don’t feel like starting a relationship yet, and at the same time not ready to lose a man you like. Consider taking into consideration any of these options.
What to do?
It may sound so straightforward to outrightly say, “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you,” if especially you like him, and he does so in return. Still, some significant factors are drawing you away from starting a relationship with him.
1. Be open and honest about your feeling
If everything shows the feeling is mutual, the best is to tell him the actual situation of your circumstances.
Let him know why you find it difficult to devote yourself to a relationship. If it is a reason you need help, he can patiently wait while you are healing.
Or he will move on without wreaking the friendship you’ve long built if it is outright rejection.
2. Get to know him more
It would help if you took your time to know the person you choose to settle with.
If uncertainty is what is holding you back from being in a relationship with him, ask random questions to know whether his perceptions align with yours or ask his honest close friends about him.
The more you get to know him, your confusion is allayed. It will quicken your decision on whether to choose him or not.
3. Don’t make promises
If, after critical evaluation, you are still hell-bent on not starting a relationship, don’t soften the blow by letting him believe you might agree in the future.
The danger is that he will keep pressing you to grant his wish, which will undoubtedly truncate your friendship.
It is not fair to him to make a promise you won’t keep, and it puts you in an uncomfortable position of shattering his heart in the future when he realises your promise is a lie.
4. Don’t give him hope
It is risky putting him in the back corner with the idea you might be ready in the future. Except you have a time frame in mind.
Giving him irrational hope isn’t fair. If you don’t see yourself changing your mind soon, let him be aware.
5. Consider giving him a chance but take things slowly
Some relationships don’t start with “love at first sight.” Knowing more about each other qualities is what brings you emotionally and physically connected.
If you think venturing into a relationship won’t distort your happiness and comfort, you may ride on with him, hoping things will tag along as you start.
Have a few dates with him, have more intense communication, and consider your option afterwards.
Don’t wait on the perfect time; the ideal time is the one you allow to happen.
However, it would help to let him know of taking things slow with you. Let him be aware you need time to get committed to the full rigour of the relationship and meet up with his expectations.
Determination and constant communication will get you better at loving him and eventually be on the same page with him.
6. Be sensitive to how he makes you feel
If you think you are not ready for a relationship, especially if the reason isn’t well-grounded, be aware you may lose some good part of him.
The gist, advice, security, care, convenience, and attention might reduce. This isn’t his fault; he has no time to waste as much as you don’t want to.
He may dwell the effort in looking for the next available girl in his circle. Consider giving him a chance if you are not ready to feel his absence.
7. Understand his goal
This is a general consideration for every new relationship.
Even if you are not ready for a relationship, but get to notice that his goals or critical family matters like raising children, building a successful career, and spending habits, among other things, align with yours.
You can consider him since you like him and try if it would be convenient along the way.
But make sure he is ready to take things slowly with you till you are fully ready for the relationship.
8. Redefine your happiness
If you don’t see yourself ready for a relationship yet, have a life outside of the man. Find other things that can make and keep you happy and draw you away from him.
Bonding to a single man you like but not ready to be in a relationship with him can lead to a continuous sexual act.
He may suddenly stop giving you attention if he realises he will not achieve his goal of dating you, which can make you sober and heartbreaking.
It is in your best interest to leave outside of him but still maintain the friendship if you are not ready to have a relationship with him.
9. Consider professional Counselling
If your confusion deepens after carefully analysing the whole issue, try scheduling an appointment with a relationship expert and seek a professional opinion.
Pour out your feelings about the man and possibly what you think holds you back from starting a relationship.
Is it fear, past relationship trauma, or the rigour of committing to a man? Expert advice will solve the riddle and allay your fear.