Jealousy is a recipe for a thriving relationship. It indicates that you treasure your partner and don’t want to lose them to another. It can be a silent pain dealing with a partner with multiple opposite genders as friends. You will have to share your partner’s attention with them sometimes.
The confusion is you need to know whether you are demanding too much attention from your partner or if they need to do more for the relationship to thrive.
It is more of a subject if the relationship is new and your partner has to balance attention between their friends and yourself.
My girlfriend texts her guy friend every day. Should you be worried?
If you know her to be a decent girl, you should not be worried if she has a random male friend she chats with.
It becomes a concern if she is hiding the person she is communicating with from you or if she is not open about why they text each other so much.
Some other factors which should be considered are: Was she a flirty person before you met her? Do you know the male friend she is chatting with every time? What’s her countenance when you inquire about the person she is talking with? How long they have been friends is another factor.
Understand that while absolute loyalty and respect for the relationship are highly expected from her, you can’t at the same time keep her from having male friends.
Unless she has cheated on you before or you are suspicious of her not being committed enough, chatting with another guy online is not enough to make you doubt your girlfriend. Trust is the bedrock of every committed relationship.
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However, it calls for concern if the texting is becoming excessive and affecting your relationship with her. You can be worried if she is not giving you enough attention. It is an issue if you think she shares your private life with the male friend or enjoys gisting with him more.
The situation might need urgent attention, but you must know why she is always on a long chat with a male friend. That will help you address the problem better.
Reason your girlfriend texts her male friend every day
1. They are old and close friends
Some friendships can be difficult to quit, not even for a romantic relationship. This means they’ve gotten too attached and separation may be challenging.
The connection might have been from childhood and they choose to define their friendship. They might have worked together on a project or school colleagues where communicating with each other is inevitable.
As a co-work or school colleagues, they may have to communicate or spend time together more than you do with her, making them grow fond of each other.
2. She is chatty and funny
You may not be the kind that likes long hours of chat. But if your girlfriend is the opposite, she will find someone that can match her communication prowess.
Communication breeds companionship. She will feel more comfortable around her male friends if they are as chatty as her, listen to her rants and show concern for her grievances.
By this, she may unconsciously spend more time than necessary texting him, even with no strings attached.
3. She feels jealous and insecure
Your girl can believe retaliation is the only way she can right the wrong in your relationship. This can be the case if she feels she needs to get more attention from you.
She may get closer to other male friends when she feels your female friends are taking your attention lately or when she catches you cheating.
Also, if you spend more time at work or direct your attention to something she doesn’t find as worthy as her, she can flirt more than usual with her male friends to make you jealous.
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4. She is cheating
Possibly, she has developed feelings for her purported male friend. That’s why she is all day chatting with him or giving him more attention than he deserves.
She might be keeping a parallel relationship with the guy while deceiving you that he is just a mere friend.
Also, if she feels the relationship with you is on the brink of collapsing, she can start relating more with her male friend and plan to lure him into believing she is available for the taking.
Though the above reasons may not be conclusive, either can be why your girlfriend texts her male guy every day. She can still love you regardless and may not be cheating as your mind entails.
However, this indicates that something isn’t right in the relationship. Don’t keep the emotion to yourself; if you do, you will end up freaking out one day and angrily lose your cool.
Being aggressive while you want to talk to your partner may spoil the relationship and even lead to a breakup. There are ways to handle your concerns and allow her to open up to you.
How to handle a girlfriend who texts her guy friend every day
1. Communicate your concerns
Talk to her about how you feel, but do it without sounding like she is cheating. Be open and honest, and do not be accusatory.
Also, listen to her concerns. Maybe she recently got attached to her male friend because you are not doing enough as her boyfriend.
They may be in close contact because they are working on a project. Try to be understanding and empathetic until you have enough reason to be satisfied.
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2. Don’t act on emotion
Cheating can be your biggest nightmare in a relationship. She might deny having affairs with him in a heartbeat if they are into something. You have to play along to get to the bottom of the issue.
Don’t shout while asking her about the guy or use an aggressive voice on her. Calmly ask her and listen to what she has to say.
Monitor her behaviour and gather enough evidence before you approach her. If you find anything suspicious, ensure it is convincingly reasonable evidence and not a mere assumption you made out of imagination.
However, you can still talk to her if you do not find anything, but with a mere inquiry about who the guy is to clear your doubt.
3. Understand the nature of the friendship
If you are suspicious she is on the phone with a male guy often, try to know the nature of their friendship. They may have been friends for a long time, even before you met her.
However, be concerned if the male friend is a new face recently surfacing in her life. It is worth knowing why they text each other every day.
If your girlfriend insists he is just a friend, you can ask to meet the guy to clear your doubt. Get to relate with him. That will help you feel more cosy with their friendship and strengthen your trust in your girlfriend.
4. Give her attention
She may often chat with a male friend because you don’t give her the needed attention as her boyfriend. This is the time to devote quality time to her.
Show her love and affection. The more you connect to her, the less she will pay attention to the other guy.
Besides, She may be giving attention to her male friend because he listens to her worries and offers help more than you do.
Make sure you stretch a helping hand when she needs one. Be concerned about her fears and always look for a solution together.
5. Take care of your insecurities
Assess whether or not your jealousy or insecurities are justified. It can be that he is merely a casual friend with no strings attached. You may be exaggerating things.
Explore your feelings and objectively assess those thoughts in your mind. Unless you feel your girlfriend is hiding the guy from you or not telling you enough about him, do not assume they’re in a secret relationship.
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6. Define the relationship
You must communicate to your girlfriend the kind of boundary you both need to set. It would be best if you also swayed away from flirting with other girls as much as you don’t want her to keep male friends.
Third parties will always want to tempt you and be willing to explore your relationship. You both need to be disciplined. Define what’s acceptable and what’s not in the relationship.
Also, to build trust and strengthen love, hide no secret from her and expect her to do the same. Have access to each other’s mobile phones.
7. Seek professional help
You may need third-party counselling to make the relationship stand and rebuild trust. You should seek professional therapy if you cannot settle amicably within yourself.
8. Request for space
If you exhaust all the options and the male friend keeps interfering in the relationship with solid evidence that they are having an affair. The best possibility is to call it a quit for your sanity.